The Apprentice

Dear The Apprentice,

Thank you for being utterly brilliant, engrossing and completely compelling – and for being back on our screens once again.

You’ve got so many of the elements that make for superb reality TV. Ludicrous, hateable people taking themselves seriously and then showing themselves to be foolish – the televisual bathos is just delicious. Why do people do it? Surely they know what will happen. Surely they know that the editors are going to make sausage meat (sorry) of them…? Or perhaps they don’t:

David Brent eat your heart out.

Thank you, The Apprentice, for playing to my vanity – it feels good. If I were to be on The Apprentice (which I won’t be), I’m sure I would get it all wrong and look ridiculous too, but from the comfortable distance of my living room and as the minutes of the show tick by, I can happily pass judgement and make bold statements about how I would have done things so differently (and so much better), about how the leader’s strategy is all wrong, whilst nodding sagely when one of the “Candidates” does or says something reasonably sensible.

And thank you for the “You’re Fired” follow-up show, where it’s all smiles and jokes and the person we hate begins to think that they’re not actually that bad…until the “voting” at the end when the pundits and audience confirm what we’ve all been thinking at home all along. The shift in style and tone is a masterstroke.

I also smile at the thought of The Apprentice, The Musical penned by Lord Lloyd-Webber, with “Sr’Allen” – sorry “Lord Sugar” – played by himself.

Thanks again



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