Monthly Archives: January 2011

Dear Waitrose

Dear Waitrose,

Thank you for being a great place for a brand consultant (who’s helping his FMCG clients generate and develop new product ideas) to go strategic shopping.

Unfortunately you’re not really an option for my regular household shopping (neither geographically nor economically), but when it comes to strategic shopping, none of the other supermarkets come anywhere close…

 

…That’s because you’re willing to stock lots and lots of new and emerging (and therefore interesting and inspirational) brands – as well as some of the more established but “out there” brands – alongside the mass market  brands. Oh, and the fact that you embrace (or at least are not afraid of) premium price points helps too.

So just as all those new and emerging brands are no doubt grateful to have “got listed in Waitrose”, I’m grateful to you for listing so many of them and making my infrequent trips to your stores so intriguing.

Thanks

Ned

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Dear Staples

Dear Staples,

Thank you for being open 8am to 8pm on weekdays.

You’re not the sort of shop I want to go to at the weekend and, although the stuff you sell is important for going about day to day business in the office, you’re not the sort of shop that I want to go to during the middle of a working day. Stationery is important, but it’s not that important.

So the fact that I can go to you on the way to or on the way back from work, really means that you deliver against your brand promise. It really is easy.

And thanks for stocking the type of lined Post it Note that I like…it’s a small thing, but they make my life easier too.Thanks again

Ned

Dear Renault

Dear Renault,

Thank you for the latest iteration of The Megane Experiment.

I know I’ve thanked you in the past with a blog post here, but this latest missive had me chuckling away again, so I thought I’d express my gratitude once more:

I might even consider a Renault Megane at some point in the future. It will more than likely be on account of last minute doubts as I’m on my to buy a VW Golf, but nonetheless, the default “it’s got to be a Golf” setting is about 2% less resolute than it was…

Thanks

Ned

Dear Evian

Dear Evian,

Thank you for reminding me that just because you can do clever things with CGI, that does definitely not mean you should:

As you’re re-releasing this ad, I’m guessing you’ve had some research come back telling you that lots of people just love those “Evian Babies”.

But I don’t.

They’re creepy.

Real babies are cute.

Fake babies that look like they’re on steroids are creepy.

I get what you’re trying to do with the babies and the Live Young brand proposition – but the advertising idea feels all wrong and the execution is just hideous.

That’s not to say CGI with babies cannot be done very well, as demonstrated by HP:

But don’t worry Evian. You’ve got company when it comes to falling into the trap of being seduced by the latest production technique.

Real puppies are cute. Fake anthropomorphic CGI puppies are unnerving and weird.

My bet? Andrex will realise that the CGI grass is not greener and the real puppies will make a comeback. Just like the Tetley Tea folk but the other way round.

Thanks Evian.

Ned

Dear Quaker Oat So Simple

Dear Quaker Oat So Simple,

Thank you for encouraging me to “measure milk using sachet”. You’ve taken the guesswork out of making porridge in a wonderfully simple and elegant way, and you really do deliver on your promise of 2 minutes to Perfect Porridge.


In fact, you fulfil my micowave-only-at-work-winter-morning-comforting-warming-porridge needstate so pleasingly, that I’m even willing to forgive the fact that you’re a brand name based on a pun. You’re a thousand times better than Seksy which I posted on a while back, but you still make me cringe a little bit.

Thanks Quaker.

Ned

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meterâ„¢ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 8,700 times in 2010. That’s about 21 full 747s.

 

In 2010, there were 98 new posts, not bad for the first year! There were 248 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 20mb. That’s about 5 pictures per week.

The busiest day of the year was December 13th with 316 views. The most popular post that day was Dear Virgin Atlantic.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were en.wordpress.com, linkedin.com, one.akzonobel.intra, and lmodules.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for daily mail logo, coca cola, coca cola logo, nurofen, and x factor logo.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Dear Virgin Atlantic November 2010

2

Dear Coca-Cola September 2010

3

Dear Kronenbourg 1664 November 2010

4

Dear McCain September 2010

5

Dear M&S August 2010
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