Dear Autogrill,
Thank you for making a stop at a motorway service station an appetising prospect. Maybe it’s only because I associate you with France and my preconceptions about France’s culinary superiority, maybe it’s because I only ever go to you when I’m on holiday when everything tastes better, but nevertheless, your disastrously unappealing logo never fails to awake my motorway-fatigued senses.
Ned
Dear Mitchell & Webb,
Thank you for your brilliant marketing satire – it stands out from the quagmire of political satire like a vuvuzela at a snooker tournament. Maybe it’s because I work in the industry, but sketches like the ones below, much of (ex-Unilever marketer) Hugh Dennis’ work and my all time favourite “Weak at the Top” (see Wikipedia here, and Amazon here) by the masterly Guy Browning, just tickle me over and over again.
Thanks
Ned
Dear Eurotunnel,
Thank you for providing what still feels like an exciting new way to travel, despite having been open for more than 15 years and for being the first major landmark on the way to my summer holiday this year…I’m looking forward to seeing you at around 11 o’clock this evening.
Ned
Dear Big Brother,
Thank you for your constant and consistent logo refreshment, some examples of which are above – I admire the way that in any guise (and especially when combined with even just a couple of notes of that music or that Geordie voiceover) you’re instantly recognisable. I have been able to justify you creeping around the edges and into my life in the past on the grounds that you are (or were anyway) an intriguing social experiment. Deep down, I know that you’re a waste of life and having wasted some life on you in the past, I’m not planning to do it again, even if I do respect what you have done over the years to try to keep the format “fresh”, not least with the layout and design of “the house”.
Ned
Dear Coca-Cola,
Thank you for your “Happiness Machine” viral / video / whatever-you-want-to-call-it…
It may have been around a while and been blogged about by loads of people (thanks to all the bloggers too, here, here, and here), but when I stumbled across it again recently it made me smile again – so I watched it again and it made me smile again. Thank you Coke for being aware how important it is to demonstrate your brand essence, not just claim it in some flashy CGI ad. And thank you (and your design agency – Turner Duckworth) for your summer cans – they’re sublime.
Ned
UPDATE: Just came across this entry on Mashable – makes for an interesting follow-up read:
Dear 2XU,
Thank you for your T:O wetsuit (which I hired for my first triathlon here) and its wealth of technical features. The “520% Stretch Lining”, “Transition Panel Seam Overlap Technology” and “Floating Zip” are all great, but what I’m really grateful for the is the “39 Cell Front Buoyancy” feature. Last night it gave me the confidence to tell all three of the practising triathletes who kindly interrupted their swim to ask if I was “OK”, that I was indeed “OK “…by which I meant that I knew I was unlikely to sink in the near future.
Ned
Dear IWC Portuguese Yacht Club Chronograph,
Thank you for being beautiful and unattainable. I am content to admire you from afar, knowing that however much I desire you, you’re an entirely unnecessary luxury that I don’t need – you serve to remind me that there is a difference between needing and wanting.
Ned
Dear (Dr Oetker) Onken Wholegrain,
Thank you for being made with 5 types of wholegrain. Your Live Bio Cultures (lactobacillus acidophilus, Bifidobacterium longum) and Live Cultures (Streptococcus thermphilus) are fine I suppose, but I’ve not really heard of them, I don’t really know what they do, I can’t see them and I can’t taste them. But I know where I am with Wholegrain. And just like raisins in Museli make every other cereal seem bland and mono-dimensional by comparison, your chewiness and contrasting texture make you the Grand Vizier of yoghurts.
Ned
Dear Haribo Tangfastics,
Thank you for making long car journeys so deliciously tangy. You’re sugary sourness is like a drug to me – if I’m on my own, I have to put you out of reach so that I don’t consume all of you in a single sitting. And thank you for not being chocolate – it helps me tell myself that your fruity gummy goodness is a far “healthier choice”.
Ned
Dear Screwfix.com,
Thank you for making me feel like I’m a savvy semi-professional tradesman (as opposed to an enthusiastic amateurish DIY-er) with your WHERE THE TRADE BUYS strapline. And thank you for offering free next day delivery and (just like Amazon’s SuperSaverDelivery which I posted on here) giving me permission to buy more things than I actually need, to reach the £50 threshold.
Ned
Dear Lord’s Media Centre,
Thank you for being a thing of beauty, for looking like a toothy open-mouthed space ship/alien, an uber-submarine periscope and one of those Keracolor spherical TVs from the ’70s, all at the same time. I love it that you prove that modern and old can work together, and that you provide another meeting point for dispersed cricket fans.
Ned
Ned says thank you 
